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Elder-caregivers

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MissMillie

(39,291 posts)
Fri May 10, 2019, 07:29 AM May 2019

Dad saw the gastroenterologist this week [View all]

The doctor reviewed the cat-scan and said that he has 2 masses on his pancreas: one near the top and one near the bottom. While he cannot say for sure that the masses are cancerous (that would require an endoscopic biopsy) he did say that whenever he's seen this before it has NEVER been good. The doctor added that if it is cancer, the next step would be a surgery that would be quite dangerous. He said that he would expect that even a healthy 40-year old would have a difficult time surviving this surgery.

Dad is deciding whether or not he wants to go through any more tests. I am sure that his biggest concern is being away from Mom. Mom has Alzheimer's Disease and my dad is her primary care-giver. Given that the next step after a confirmed diagnosis would be a procedure that would almost certainly kill him, he doesn't see much point.

I've spent considerable time worrying about Mom since her diagnosis that I feel pretty blind-sided at the prospects of losing Dad.

I realize that at my age I had to expect to lose my parents at some point, and I guess on some level I did expect it, but I'm still not ready. I'm in my mid-50s and have been blessed to still have both of my parents all this time. We've been "losing" Mom gradually for a while. Now I'm facing the prospect of losing Dad too.

I'm not ready.

I'm heartbroken.

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