My Mother's dead. I don't know what to do. I'll never be able to hug

[yellowdogintexas]

69. So sorry for your loss. Losing someone that important is devastating. I will miss mine forever

Every day something will happen or someone will say something that reminds me of her and pretty much always makes me smile or laugh out loud. Sometimes it is as simple as using one of her favorite expressions.

When she died my grief was not raw as in other losses; she had dementia and for my sisters and me she really had been gone for a couple of years. I just hated that she was no longer there as her old self and that she would miss her grandchildren's weddings and the births of their children. She died in 2004 and four of her five grandchildren were 20 yrs old or younger, and none of the great grandchildren had been born.

My sisters and I are fortunate to be very close and we talk about the things we remember a LOT; we all remember different things because we are 5 & 7 years apart and we each experienced her differently We usually end up laughing because she was so damn funny. So don't hesitate to laugh, it is very healing.

I hope you have siblings or cousins or her close friends - folks you really care about who also cared deeply for her. You will always be a great comfort to one another. I also hope you all remember and talk about the fun and funny times - it helps a lot. (when my grandmother died at age 102, we all sat around telling Granny stories, and there were a ton of them! Things like that really help)

The cliche is "it will get better" Well, it does, but that getting better part is not on a timeline. You are not going to go through the stages of grief on a set schedule. Everyone feels and processes things differently and those who don't understand that can just go sit on a tack. (as my mom used to say - and that made me smile)