The Borowitz Report: A Wedding Gift for Don Jr.

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/the-love-poems-of-kimberly-guilfoyle-757
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Donald Trump wasn’t the only person who skipped his son’s wedding this weekend. Also absent was Don Jr.’s former fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, now the US ambassador to Greece.

You might remember Guilfoyle as the woman who spoke at the 2020 Republican National Convention and shattered the nation’s stemware. But there’s another side to Kim—a sensitive, vulnerable side—that emerges in her private poetry journal.

In this series of haikus, Kim tells the epic story of her romance with Don Jr. in all its phases: first bloom, full flowering, and heartbreaking decay. Is it better, as Tennyson wrote, to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Read Kim’s poems and decide for yourself.

Someday I will be
Mrs. Donald Trump Jr
Wedding live on Fox

Still Don’s fiancée
It’s been many summers now
Patience, Kim, patience



Googled Don Jr.
Who’s that girl he’s cuddling with
We’re at DEFCON 2

Pick up, Don, pick up
Every time I call you
Goes straight to voicemail



There is an upside
Melania won’t be my
Stepmother-in-law

Greek ambassador?
Consolation prize, I guess
But I hate gyros

- more at link -

Poor Kimberly ... we all knew he would dump her as soon as we saw her shameless groveling at the RNC Convention.
I guess she was the last the know? Maybe getting an Ambassadorship isn't such a bad consolation prize after all.