Mike Huckabee Creates International Crisis By Sticking Godly Foot In Pious Mouth

[Zorro]

Picture a bearded white Urkel saying 'Did I do that?'

God, we loathe Mike Huckabee, with his stupid hipster beard and his stupid smug face and his thoroughly primitive belief that a book patched together from the oral traditions of a bunch of illiterate shepherds trapped in a desert is the literal Word of God, so shut up and love Jesus before the seals are broken and the Four Horsemen come galloping across the sky and the true believers — such as, not coincidentally, Mike Huckabee — start ascending to heaven like the world’s chattiest helium balloons.

Or something to that effect, we don’t know, we pretty much stop listening to this eschatology when it gets to the part where the whole mishegas requires our people to either convert to Christianity or get slaughtered by whoever turns out to be the antichrist. (Donald Trump, it is Donald Trump, we never thought God would invest such power in a doddering senile idiot, so that’s our bad for not seeing it coming.)

Unfortunately for both us and humanity, Huckabee is America’s ambassador to Israel, which is supposed to be eschaton Ground Zero on some unknowable future date. Since the Middle East is one of the most fought-over areas in the world, one would hope for an ambassador who chooses his words carefully, who does not speak with great hyperbole. One who does not off-handedly dismiss the inconvenient existence of every Arab in the region with the glib comment that Israel can take all that dang land if they want it.

From Politico, which is coming up on two decades of WINNING THE MORNING:

Huckabee spoke in an interview with conservative commentator Tucker Carlson that aired Friday. Carlson said that according to the Bible, the descendants of Abraham would receive land that today would include much of the Middle East, including parts of modern-day Jordan, Syria, Iraq and Lebanon. He quoted from Genesis Chapter 15 and asked Huckabee if Israel had a right to that land.

Huckabee responded “It would be fine if they took it all.”

What? No, no, it would not in any way be “fine” if Israel took over everything “from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates,” which is the area the Book of Genesis talks about. We do not care what the Bible says, as the Bible was written thousands of years ago, when perhaps even God Himself could not foresee just how insanely fucking stupid humanity was going to get.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/mike-huckabee-creates-international