Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
Editorials & Other Articles
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
Florida National Guard sent to quell a rebellion by the DC Gang at Happy Tots preschool early Monday.
HP News Service reports that the Florida National Guard was sent to quell a rebellion by the DC Gang at Happy Tots preschool early Monday. The uprising began when several of the toddlers refused to eat their American cheese food slices at snack time or even snooze at nap time. They just whined that they weren't tired.
Administration officials claim all involved they were part of the notorious DCG or Diaper Clad Gang as they dressed alike with sagging diapers. When the tykes refused to provide citizenship papers, the authorities slapped tiny little handcuffs and leg irons on 12 members of the gang, who were literally carried away and put on flight to El Salivadore.
Administration spokesperson, Snippy McBitchface said "These individuals had no legal basis to remain in the United States. They did not follow the authorities direct orders. Using her outside voice, she screamed “Authorities demand complete, total, and immediate obedience!” After switching back to her inside voice, she said “We expect to see a consistent flow of deportation flights to El Salivador going forward."
This story was brought to you by The Hallucinogenic Prognostication News Service (c) 2025: sarcasm: