This message was self-deleted by its author

[kickysnana]

This message was self-deleted by its author (kickysnana) on Wed Sep 26, 2012, 11:58 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[Tobin S.]

1. I'm of the opinion

that you should be real with everyone, especially mentally ill people.

[hunter]

3. Don't swim against the riptide...

... we all learned that as toddlers in my large extended family.

Escaping a rip current

A swimmer caught in a rip current should not attempt to swim back to shore directly against the rip. This risks exhaustion and drowning. A rip does not pull a swimmer under water; it carries the swimmer away from the shore in a narrow channel of water.[1] The rip is like a treadmill which the swimmer needs to step off. The swimmer should remain calm and swim parallel to the shore until he or she is outside of the current. Then, locations to aim for are places where waves are breaking. In these areas, floating objects are generally transported towards the shore.

A swimmer in a strong rip, who is unable to swim away from it, should relax and calmly float or tread water to conserve energy. Eventually the rip will lose strength, and the swimmer can swim at a leisurely pace, in a diagonal direction, away from the rip but back to shore. Coastal swimmers should understand the danger of rip currents, learn how to recognize them and how to escape from them, and swim in areas where lifeguards are operating, whenever possible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riptide

Our family lives on the shores of an ocean of crazy and plays happily for the most part in the surf.

One of my grandmas was a deep sucking vortex of insanity -- anyone drawn into her personal reality was doomed.

I think I was her favorite because she couldn't suck me in, not even a little bit. My own autistic reality was impenetrable by her demons. She could make me a sandwich covered in shit crazy germs and I could eat it, leaving the crazy on the plate like a kid who doesn't like bread crust.

[kickysnana]

6. Thank you. Wonderful analogy.

My Dad was a very successful autistic person, caring in his own way, and although that presented challenges I could accept and work with his black and white world better than I could my two sisters, fairy tale world, unbelieveably good, tagically bad and mixed with real.

It is hard to love someone and not be able to find a way to have a relationship that is not more negative than positive. They are not speaking to me right now after my Dad's death because I won't embrace their fantasies around my Dad's death. This is not a matter of opinion as to what happened they have whole events that never happened and my other siblings are equally struggling with this as they is not talking to them yet (except an occasional email or telephone one sided rant) either, because we acknowledge that they are hurting and some of the pain does come from the delusion (we call it a misunderstanding so as not to hit a hot button), we love them anyway and want to move forward with love, but we cannot embrace the delusions and that is what they are both demanding right now. As far as I know they are not speaking either since they do not share each others delusions. I respect that both of them have survived, achieved short bursts of real success and battled the dark side that has haunted them their whole lives. Right now love and respect are not enough for either of them, their exact words. So I don't know what to do other than let things be and hope that they can work through it eventually.

By the time I get the answers in life I need it may be over and in todays world we are not allowed to impart unsolicited advice to the generations after us and that seems such a shame that the grandchildren, nieces and nephews keep gong through the same nightmares when there are better ways to live with mental illness. Even as a kid I sought out older relatives that seemed to be compassionate and that were respected in the family by most to see how they dealt with grandpa or auntie or cousin Izzy. But mental health, expectations are fluid so what worked before medicines and todays specialized therapies (unavailable to many) may not be the way to go today or tomorrow.

It doesn't help that we have a whole political party that seems to thrive on a kind of mass delusions and the refuge for our increasingly miserable lives because of their policies has become fundamentalist religion.

[Tobin S.]

4. What am I? Chopped liver?

Just be real. Don't play the game. That's probably the best you can do. It's usually very difficult to reason with a delusional person because what you are dealing with is not faulty thinking that you can correct like a teacher correcting a student. Delusions are due to a faulty brain that usually requires medication.

Just try to get them to see a doctor regularly and take their meds. Their symptoms should clear up if they do that. Short of that you are just talking to an illness that will run you around in circles accomplishing nothing.

[kickysnana]

5. Sorry, I was typing when you replied & I didn't see your kind message until now.

Slow typer.

Sounds like very reasonable advice, all of it.

[Tobin S.]

7. 10-4

I wish you and your family well.