Cancer Support
Related: About this forumSleeplessinSoCal
(9,544 posts)Never give up hope
underpants
(185,648 posts)niyad
(118,404 posts)as you need.
leftieNanner
(15,565 posts)gay texan
(2,754 posts)Im sorry kiddo.
duhneece
(4,215 posts)At 72, I think about dying
maybe too much.
I dont want any family members to die
and that includes my DU family, members of whom are closer than some of my legal or blood family.
Im so sorry. How can I help?
murielm99
(31,298 posts)I am 75, and I am angry. There is still too much to do for me to die now.
stopdiggin
(12,500 posts)Kick a couple of doors .. (and maybe a few of your less favorite people)
It ain't fair - and you have a right to be pissed!
pazzyanne
(6,583 posts)Listen to your doctor when you meet. Ask questions - lots of them! Get a second opinion. Follow your treatment plan closely. Do the things that are recommended. This comes from someone who was diagnosed in 2015 with a fatal autoimmune disease and told I had 5 to 15 months to live. My doctor was a fighter who put together a specialist team immediately. Following the steps above and living my life one day at a time working on things that were left for me to do, I'm still here. Tough days, but good ones as well! I'm wholeheartedly wishing the same for you! Good luck and know that we are all with you in spirit. Hugs and Encouragement on their way to you. Using hospice is on my future plans as well, and finding a support group is important.
Bernardo de La Paz
(50,402 posts)Anger is a very understandable, natural response, but anger will not help anybody, least of all you.
Forgive yourself, forgive your condition, do the best you can letting go of the self-destructive anger as soon as you can. Perhaps replace it with cold determination to do as much of that "too much to do" as you can. I'm sure even Norman Lear dying at 101 had more to do. We all do. We all get more done without anger. Anger is partially motivating and partially dulls our primary tool, intellect. On balance, cold determination gets more done.
Best wishes.
blm
(113,755 posts)cilla4progress
(25,508 posts)What do you wish to share with us here?
Sending healing thoughts.
❤️❤️❤️
brer cat
(25,835 posts)hlthe2b
(105,426 posts)I can only hope your days are filled with love and happiness and extend far into the future, no matter what you might think today. And yes, please. When the anger and shock diminish a bit, I can only hope that a determination to make every day count will take their place.
Walleye
(34,226 posts)lapucelle
(19,501 posts)TNNurse
(7,072 posts)you need to make the best of what time you have. They can help in many ways.
rambler_american
(820 posts)Hospice helped ease our daughter from this world to the next. They were a great comfort.
summer_in_TX
(3,072 posts)in their home where they wanted to be until they died.
But it should be at the point where you choose no further intervention. They replace your medical care and interventions designed to restore health and focus on palliative care to keep you comfortable and able to live the rest of your time well.
Mom went quickly (two days after she came home from the hospital following a stroke and heart attack). Dad went almost ten months after entering hospice. We got to be with them and to shower them with love, instead of having them whisked away by hospital staff trying to save their lives past when it was possible for them to enjoy any quality of living and where we couldn't be with them while they worked on them.
🙏🏽
onecaliberal
(35,241 posts)colorado_ufo
(5,892 posts)Yes, contact Hospice! Wonderful help. If you improve, you can always leave Hospice.
democrank
(11,230 posts)Were here for you~
Elessar Zappa
(15,228 posts)I pray for your comfort during these difficult times,
LastLiberal in PalmSprings
(12,807 posts)snowybirdie
(5,522 posts)from all your DU friends! Bless you.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,267 posts)LymphocyteLover
(6,345 posts)LoisB
(8,177 posts)Sending you a really big hug. Don't give up.
NoMoreRepugs
(10,319 posts)BittyJenkins
(518 posts)TeamProg
(6,630 posts)One of my best friends is fighting Charlie with chemo. Thats the name he gave to his stage three pancreatic cancer so to psychologically separate the cancer from his own physical being. He did nothing wrong but perhaps overeat most of his life.
Are there any better treatments for you or answers to be found?
marked50
(1,422 posts)Ocelot II
(119,526 posts)MartyTheGreek
(650 posts)I'm not an experiencer but read more better outcome late stage stories than not.
Peregrine Took
(7,493 posts)ms liberty
(9,636 posts)Goddessartist
(2,066 posts)Sending love and golden vibes.
DarthDem
(5,342 posts)I am hoping for the very best for you - maybe the news is not what you fear. Please let us know.
PlutosHeart
(1,445 posts)pandr32
(12,004 posts)You must be going through a lot of fear and anger. I hope you have enough time to make your own arrangements and say good-bye to those whom you care about.
highplainsdem
(51,616 posts)of new treatments being found, and unexplained healings, that I never give up hope.
I'm not religious, but I believe, based on everything I've read and heard (including from a lot of people I knew personally), that our spirits live on, and there are reunions with loved ones who've already crossed over.
I realize that can't change the anger when there's still so much more that you want to do here (as you mentioned in reply 7), and I hope you'll have years more here. But all of us are going to make that transition. I'm praying for the best possible medical care and emotional support for you.
And please remember that those you love, who know what matters to you, are almost certainly already continuing along paths similar to the one you chose, with many of the same goals you chose. You've mattered to them. You've had an impact, and always will. They're your partners in that work you still want to do. I hope you'll be able to feel more and more appreciation of that, and be reminded of their appreciation of you.
We all have limited time here, but I'm wishing you as much more time as possible, and as much love and peace as possible.
70sEraVet
(4,006 posts)OAITW r.2.0
(27,506 posts)I don't know how I would handle a diagnosis that is terminal. God bless you.
Ponietz
(3,247 posts)[
Wicked Blue
(6,488 posts)Holding you in Light
Grumpy Old Guy
(3,456 posts)Our thoughts are with you.
❤️
MiHale
(10,513 posts)Scottie Mom
(5,812 posts)I am reaching out to hold your hand.
🙏🏻
Jeebo
(2,188 posts)I am 74 in 13 days and I think about my mortality all the time. Another thing I think about often is that in my lifetime, I have had unique experiences that have taught me unique life lessons. Those personal experiences have taught me lessons in what my father used to call the "College of Hard Knocks" and I think I should write those lessons down and pass them along to others so that what I have learned from those lessons does not die with me. I am not talking about writing my autobiography or anything elaborate like that, but just write it down in the form of lengthy letters to friends and family so that after I go, they will still know and understand who I am. And I say "am" instead of "was" because the written word is one way to keep yourself alive forever in a sense by passing along a form of your identity and consciousness to those who will be aware of who you are. And who will never forget who you are. This is kind of hard to articulate, but I have been thinking about doing this myself for a long time but just have been procrastinating. If your days are numbered, I think this will be a good way for you to use them. I should stop procrastinating and do that myself; Lord knows there are life lessons I would like to pass along to friends and family so that those life lessons don't die with me. To keep what I have learned about life and the real world alive even if I can't keep my physical body alive. I hope that advice helps you.
-- Ron
chowder66
(9,684 posts)Wild blueberry
(7,057 posts)As well as courage and peace.
TygrBright
(20,954 posts)Your DU family is here.
We love you.
Rage against the dying of the Light... you never know which moments of your life will be the ones to transcend the known and ordinary.
lovingly,
Bright
sheshe2
(86,358 posts)NewHendoLib
(60,376 posts)You are in my thoughts.
yankee87
(2,296 posts)My deepest condolences
Duncanpup
(13,597 posts)Jilly_in_VA
(10,710 posts)BlueSky3
(672 posts)as I am also a Quaker. Wishing you peace and love, Muriel.
twodogsbarking
(11,874 posts)virgdem
(2,190 posts)LittleGirl
(8,350 posts)Truly. Hugs
madaboutharry
(41,116 posts)I don't know what else to say other than I am very sorry and that I hope you are with those who love you.
mahina
(18,719 posts)Sending you aloha, wishing comfort and peace of mind, and wellbeing.
2naSalit
(91,226 posts)And more hugs.
All I can send are vibes to give you strength and comfort, I hope they help in some way.
Fla Dem
(25,330 posts)Lean on friends and family as you travel this road. Do not walk alone.
wryter2000
(47,175 posts)I hope you're not in pain and have people to support you
BaronChocula
(2,277 posts)❤️
ismnotwasm
(42,395 posts)Know then, you have my deepest admiration and respect.
Whatever way your journey takes you, you have been impactful and added meaning and depth.
justaprogressive
(2,335 posts)Make your bucket list.
The battle between mind and body can be prolonged by
a determined attitude!
Prioritize and do!
Call on us for support anytime.
(retired Long Term Care nurse)
The Mouth
(3,259 posts)It's not over until it's over. Fight.
Blessings to you!
Warpy
(112,942 posts)I am so sorry.
I hope your doc mentions palliative care. Whatever else you decide to do, that needs to be started now.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5176367/
cate94
(2,864 posts)Sending prayers and
SYGDeb
(84 posts)I am so sorry. I have cancer..too. My doctor is switching me from Jakafi to a different medication.
58Sunliner
(4,935 posts)BlueTexasMan
(176 posts)One way you get the rest you need, the other way you get a new adventure. Win/win
Peace be with you.
herding cats
(19,585 posts)We'll be here for you when you need a hug or to vent.
Mersky
(5,080 posts)All wishing we could be right by your side.
Have known your handle and voice for 20 years, and would be there if I could to ask questions, push for more tests, and faster.
XanaDUer2
(12,960 posts)That's all I know how to say. That being said, there are amazing treatments now. Holding you in love and light.
JohnSJ
(95,152 posts)Last edited Thu Dec 7, 2023, 10:32 AM - Edit history (1)
Sending you positive vibes, thoughts and prayers
Bayard
(23,747 posts)And finish your bucket list.
Please keep us posted. Love and light.
gademocrat7
(11,028 posts)mountain grammy
(27,068 posts)and will hope for the best.
BumRushDaShow
(138,981 posts)barbtries
(29,508 posts)By now you've seen the doctor. Are you certain there's no hope murielm999??
sending loving energy to lighten your load.
yardwork
(63,509 posts)LakeArenal
(29,616 posts)Travel well.
William769
(55,783 posts)applegrove
(122,058 posts)A beautiful life transition to the other side of the veil. Blessings. Shalom.
DFW
(56,062 posts)It aint over til its over.
Make plans, do stuff while you still can. Confound their pessimistic diagnosis to the point where they exclaim, what? Youre still here?
lostnfound
(16,487 posts)Its a lovely name. You strike me as a lovely, good hearted, open-hearted person.
Ive grown quite attached to you through your posts.
So I will say a prayer for you tonight.
May you be allowed to live each day to its fullest, may you share your wisdom and strength with many. Guess we are all cousins thought] in this world..
Joinfortmill
(15,939 posts)meet again on the other side. God bless.
IbogaProject
(3,377 posts)Maybe get a second opinion? If you decide to end treatment you will likely qualify for hospice care and be able to stay in your home, even if you aren't there yet maybe check it out, that one is covered by medicare and isn't like going on medicaid for being in a nursing home.
femmedem
(8,391 posts)Life is so precious and so short.
When my time comes, I don't know if I will be able to face losing this miraculous world with any grace. My heart goes out to you.
Marthe48
(18,480 posts)and that you have to wait to hear what your options might be.
louslobbs
(3,352 posts)😢❤️🩹 my mom got her breast cancer diagnosis when she was 50, she went into remission twice and finally it metastasized to her brain and she died at 56. I wouldnt have missed those 6 years for anything in the world. No matter what, please keep fighting! My mom used her anger about the situation to keep fighting
..whatever it takes Muriel. Thinking of you
..
With love,
Lou (Frank)
kairos12
(13,175 posts)Alliepoo
(2,414 posts)And holding you close in my thoughts and in my heart.
creeksneakers2
(7,522 posts)mercuryblues
(14,838 posts)that you need.
SarcasticSatyr
(1,243 posts)You are in my thoughts, live every minute with all you have ...
MLAA
(18,293 posts)Evolve Dammit
(18,154 posts)area51
(12,078 posts)I hope that a treatment will be found to help you.
Skittles
(157,326 posts)someone is always here
DownriverDem
(6,528 posts)but good vibes & hope for you.
JPPaverage
(552 posts)The world will be worse off without you.
SunSeeker
(53,280 posts)Unknown Beatle
(2,685 posts)Wishing you peace and comfort.
Permanut
(6,404 posts)C OH Dem
(34 posts)Weighs heavy for you.
Eko
(8,287 posts)Eko.
LetMyPeopleVote
(152,717 posts)You will be in my prayers
NNadir
(34,235 posts)...in passing.
Deepest sympathy.
CousinIT
(9,776 posts)...and a gentle peaceful, painless passing surrounded by love at both ends.
Bettie
(16,799 posts)ProudMNDemocrat
(18,580 posts)Hugs.
Trueblue Texan
(2,784 posts)I believe in miracles. Hope to hear from you soon.
raising2moredems
(700 posts)I'm here for you for whatever hand you're dealt. I know we've both been election judges (and sad to say in maggats precincts but we are warrior supporters of democracy). A bit sad we've never been able to meet up but there is a supreme being somewhere. So we might.
stage left
(3,009 posts)Hugs and love to you. I hope you live to confound your doctors.
ancianita
(37,876 posts)May your spirit be at peace.
SallyHemmings
(1,867 posts)purr-rat beauty
(569 posts)but please remember, you are still living with us.
mia
(8,418 posts)May the support expressed in this post bring you some comfort. One day we will all be where you are at this moment. Thank you for sharing how you are thinking and feeling. I wish that I could offer you more.
Mad_Dem_X
(9,734 posts)Bluethroughu
(5,595 posts)Do whatever you want, go where ever you want, eat whatever you want and say whatever you want.
It's your time and make every moment count.
You are not alone, when you have friends.
Let love and light fill you up.
Scrivener7
(52,201 posts)TNNurse's suggestion to contact hospice is a good one. Are you able to do that?
I wish we could all be there to hold your hand. It must be terribly frightening. That said, we will all follow you down that path sometime.
I wish for a comfortable transition for you.
LaMouffette
(2,202 posts)I don't know your religious affiliation, if any, but one thing that brings me a great deal of comfort is learning about the near-death experiences of others, through books and through videos online. The TV series I Survived: Beyond and Back is especially reassuring.
Peace and comfort to you as you process this next step of your journey, muriel!
salin
(48,958 posts)Sending love, appreciation, strength, hugs, and more hugs.
SYFROYH
(34,200 posts)Sparkly
(24,258 posts)Please keep us posted.
salin
(48,958 posts)(((murielm)))