Living with an addict

[XanaDUer2]

My "partner" of course, asked me to stop at CVS for wine. Hes had incidents of drinking until falling hes 72 and peeing on the floor etc. He almost started a fire.

Everyone tells me "go out", but I can't relax bc I worry about what I'll come home to. I worry about walking in to him lying on the floor passed out. Or worse. A burned down home.

Unless you live with this, you really don't get it.

[XanaDUer2]

1. And

https://www.democraticunderground.com/11447203

[marble falls]

2. Some of us do. My grandfather died in an SRO. He was drunk when he had a heart attack sitting at a table ...

... and reaching for pills (nitro?), he knocked them off onto the floor. He died sitting in that chair. And wasn't found for three or four days.

The last time I saw him was the Christmas before this happened in '64. We were at my granma Bessie's house and she wanted him to be there, too. She had divorced him over alcohol and remarried and then divorced him again. My Uncle Fred and I drove to the "hotel", and parked almost in front of his window, I stayed in the car because it was a toss up which Ralph was going to answer the door. I saw him as a shadow through the the shade. Ralph may have swung on Fred. Fred came out and we left. My granma would have married him again, she believed in prayer.

"I've seen the bottle and the damage done", in this case thru three generations.

[XanaDUer2]

3. Thank you

I'm so exhausted I don't even feel like going out. I just want to sit in peace in my apt. He just toddled out to slurp down another glass. Sometimes I'll pour some out and pour water in. I used to do that with my alcoholic mother as a kid. Vodka.

There are few places to "go out" here. I don't want to be a nomad driving around wasting gas bc of a drunk/druggie.

[XanaDUer2]

4. I ptedicted 4 hrs untol thr bottle is empty

11am to 3pm. Nailed it.

[lark]

5. Have you ever heard of Naranon Family or Naranon Strong?

My son is an addict and was getting out of prison in July and I was going out of my mind with worry. I had a visit with a therapist and he recommended Naranon and it has changed my life. My stress level is so far below what it used to be. My son still has issues, big issues, but me not trying to control his life has lead to a big decrease in his anger and his life is better. It still sucks big time, but I can;t control it and am trying to focus on myself and healthy living and life is better.

Good luck!

[XanaDUer2]

6. Thank you lark

No i have not. I'm always worried this fucker will do something to get me sued. I told him today if his bad hygiene gives him covid I'm not helping and if he passes ( we r both vaxxed) he passes and just let it go. I control him in that I've screamed I'm not living like this i grew up with a super drunk mother so hes very triggering for me. You should have seen him grinding and snorting his opioids. I don't have enough. Money to move our so I'm trapped. I have lots of anger

[lark]

7. Please go to Naranon.

There will be people there who have gone through the same thing or something very similar and it's such a solace to see that others' have gone through things so close to what you have experience, you won't be alone!!

I feel so bad for your situation and it was what I feared with my son!

[XanaDUer2]

8. Its horrible

And he's verbally abusive. He was threatening to cut off the money i was so fed up i said let them evict us and I'm gone. That's calmed him down a bit. He stopped for the most part threatening.. let me look that up. Unfortunately i cannot do virtual bc this fucker will hrear me

[MotownPgh]

10. Are you against or afraid of going

to al anon or narc anon? It seems like the best option for you right now.

[XanaDUer2]

11. No

I was looking up how/ where

[MotownPgh]

12. Wonderful

It will help you to understand some of the stuff with your mom too.

[XanaDUer2]

13. What's so annoying is I'm constantly

Screaming at him to get out and no matter what i say he won't leave. Id really like to solve this problem by getting away from it. We lose apts bc he was arrested yrs ago bc of crack.

I think he's a sociopath he nvr apologizes for anything.

[MotownPgh]

15. You can't really have a normal

relationship when someone has addiction problems. They are already in a relationship with their vice and not available.

[RainCaster]

9. Another option is AlAnon

It's a support group for families of alcoholics. You can find a local meeting here.

[XanaDUer2]

14. Thank you

Thank God for support fora and DUers