'These Aren't My Pants'

[left-of-center2012]

Bridgeville, PA, police officers were called a local pharmacy the day after Christmas for a “shoplifting in progress call.” The suspect was quickly taken into custody and found to have $100 worth of stolen merchandise. Many of the items were removed from their original packaging, and the security label on one of the items was destroyed.

Police say the suspect first told them that they had actually intended to pay for the items before leaving. However, the suspect did not have any money, credit or debit cards. Officers say the suspect then told them that a brother was coming to pay for the items.

In the meantime, police say they also found “a few unknown pills in their front pocket, a glassine baggie containing suspicious white powder in the other pocket and suspected heroin in another pocket.” When questioned about it, police say the suspect told them, “These aren’t my pants.”

Officers then asked who the pants actually belonged to. When the suspect told them they were “my cousin’s pants,” they asked for that person’s name. The suspect responded, “I don’t know. The person is not really my cousin, more of a friend that’s like a cousin.”

The police department says: “If you wake up today with the intention of wearing someone else’s pants, whether or not you intend on being involved in skulduggery, please check your pockets first.”

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2020/01/09/bridgeville-shoplifting-suspect-not-my-pants-excuse/

[eppur_se_muova]

1. His story is as consistent as any told by 45's maladministration. nt

[yonder]

4. Yes it is. Maybe more so.

[Shrike47]

2. As a former criminal defense attorney, not the first 'not my pants' story I've encountered.

Also, a notable ‘not my underwear’ story. Who wears other people’s used undies?

[marble falls]

3. You don't want to know.

[keithbvadu2]

5. I bought a small duffel bag and did not check the outside pockets for many months.

I bought a small duffel bag and did not check the outside pockets for many months.

There was a bent piece of copper tubing (hash pipe) that I had been carrying around.

Good thing I did not pass a drug dog.

[muriel_volestrangler]

6. While trekking in Nepal, we came across marijuana growing wild

I flew home separately from my friends; a few months later, I found, in an outer pocket of my rucksack (that they knew I never used - only big enough to put keys in) some dried leaves. Thanks, guys. That would have been just peachy to explain at the airport ...