A guess the trump cult was right.

[Jim Riggins]

One More Uppity Public Service Announcement
By Jim Riggins, The Accidental Conservative

As another overture to the Trump Party, we democrats want to point out another threat to the nation we discovered and for which we propose a solution. Threat, you ask? In Austin, Texas at this very moment, there are millions of commie, Mexican free-tailed bats hiding out under a bridge. I stood and watched them fly out once. And I stood and I stood and I stood and them bats never stopped coming out of their little commie hidey-hole. And who has any idea what Mexican bats do once they fly out into the dead of night? And bats are icky. Everybody knows that.

But these bats we’re talking about are small, so I think we can take out most with simple shotguns as soon as they emerge from their hideout.
They are little critters, so we assume dove-shot will work. Perhaps a 7 ½ or 8. My DD-214 says Expert Marksman, so I would like to join in the fun. We can line up bubbas for as far as the eye can see. We can have them come in waves to allow the first shooters to reload just like we was using muskets. And what the f**k is more American than a musket, my near-sighted Trumpian brothers and sisters?

Shotguns hold so few rounds, however, and are slow to load, so we need to look into fat-boy magazines that hold a serious amount of firepower. We assume the Trump party can provide these. Other suggestions are flame throwers, rockets launchers and several of us suggested a small, tactical nuclear strike.

We need only take out one grid. We can take out the Mexican bats and the socialist regime in Austin at the same time. More bang for the buck so to speak. And ain’t there one of them commie places of higher-learning there? Some university or another. Can anyone say hat-trick? We assume nuclear weapons do not come cheaply. However, we propose hitting Dayton, Omaha and Bakersfield in one coordinated strike as well.

The general-consensus is that we spare the rest of California’s coastline, however. Many of us like Monterey. Moreover, we have marines and sailors in San Diego. Though, we are prepared to give up any liberal place in Kansas or Oklahoma to meet the Trump Party halfway. We also ask that Trumpsters spare Washington, D.C., Philadelphia and Boston. Like the rest of the country, we are tired of the Patriots, but we should only make one coast inhabitable at any one time.

Finally, we are also prepared to give up the OK Corral, the petrified forest and all fire-ants for the Carolinas and at least the southern part of Florida. I really like Lynyrd Skynyrd, so I may have to push back on the northern thing. And Ronnie would have destroyed Putin. Though, we will give up Bakersfield in return. We also want to protect at least small parts of our grand-children’s prairies, wetlands, rain forests, purple mountains, badlands, Great Lakes, most of their clean air, some of their fresh water, deserts that aren’t really hot, swamplands and any oceans white with foam among other places. We can discuss these.

"Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied"

[dweller]

1. wtf

what's in my coffee?

✌🏼

[flying_wahini]

2. What are you trying to say? Is this a call to arms for you?

[Jim Riggins]

3. It's just snark...

...to point out the silliness of the Trump cult. It isn't to be taken seriously.