Reflections, Wishes and Requests
*I was going to post this last night, but got the hearing date and that kind of took precedence.
If the GoFundMe part bothers you, please read on as there is much more. Thank you.
Yes, Part of this entry is a request for help as I have about 4 months to go, give or take, to get an answer to my appeal whose hearing date has been set for April 9, 2026.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-john-mckusick-overcome-health-and-financial-struggles
I'm really hoping that we have reached the stretch run of my case, as this hearing allows so much more evidence than the prior process which I associate more like a workman's comp claim than a real evaluation of my conditions and true eligibility for SSDI.
Please know how grateful I am for all of your assistance in this past year, and I only ask you to help me survive through the hearing. I've always treated your donations with great care, and as always, I self stop my requests when goals are met because I know how difficult giving is in this day and age. My goals are approximately $600 to finish January obligations and then $1400 for February, my last month higher costs due to bi-weekly trips to Cardiac Rehab.
If anyone wants to consider loan terms to assist me in my fundraising, I will be happy to engage in that capacity.
As to reflections for this past year, WOW! I mean one year ago today, I was waiting scared for my life knowing I had another month and a half to survive with what I knew to be three blocked arteries by my heart, (there were 4). The slow daily walks with Cuddles and you all to the cemetery every day changed my life so subtly and yet profoundly.
To receive such wonderful support, both emotional, spiritual and financial created a relationship with gratitude and hope that I'd never before experienced. The stillness that your kindness enabled is still here with me in the moments that feel like the blessings and miracles to this day. You helped me face my fears with the belief that your energies, prayers and vibes made me stronger, made me feel some semblance of self worth, and really gave me so many miracles that I could only go into my quadruple bypass with a blanket of gratitude, a bed of spiritual support, and of course operated on by blessed hands.
Every part of this journey was an exercise in gratitude, amazement and feeling touched by God. The wonderful Nurses, the Doctors, the med techs and right down to environmental services and food service employees were truly doing the work of God with their empathy, touch, and kindness.
There are so many of you that have held my hand along this wonderful journey that I can't name you all, but I know you know who you are and how grateful I am. I feel like some of you have figuratively adopted me, and for a guy that grew up in group homes, I hope you know just how special that has felt.
That we are nearing the end of this part of my journey in no way ends it as all the amazing lessons, gifts and love has only enabled me to be more giving, more understanding, and more complete as a human being. That I can say you literally prepared me to deal with everything that happened with Rory is an understatement.
Your kindness, love and generosity gave me both the room and in essence permission to experience Rory's illness and death in a way that made me feel like I contributed a lot to his final days and journey on from here. You gave me the safety and room to offer everything I valued to my friend, to offer my entire emotional being in support because you made it possible through your help both direct and indirect. To feel Grace is so immensely powerful, to be able to offer it is a gift of magnitudes higher. You helped me offer it and that it was so wonderfully embraced and accepted made this part of my journey, as painful as it's been, one that I will always treasure in deed and in experience. Thank you.
As this New Year is now almost 24 hours old, please know that my promise is to share yours. My commitment is to give what you've given, and in my every hope, that in some ways, I'll be able to repay each act of kindness that has paved my path this past year.
You've made so much possible my adopted family, you have changed my life in so many ways, and you've blessed me so immensely, that I can't wait for this year so that these wonderful gifts will continue to reverberate through the Universe, like that ripple in a ocean. All the seeds you've planted and helped to nourish, will blossom in ways we can't yet see but we can trust as I can't ever be the man I was 12-31-24 when you've done so much to help me grow.
Happy New year to each and every one of you, I'm sorry this is a day late, and please know, whether done a year ago or yesterday or tomorrow, you have blessed me beyond what I could have dreamt and only humbly ask that you help me get to the finish line in this leg of my journey.
Once again, I wish you all a return of all the blessings you've bestowed unto me with the wonderful grace that you've offered it.
With all my Love and Gratitude
John Mckusick
= new reply since forum marked as read
Happy to help.
Not sure who said it, but “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
Best to you 
my daughter. She is a professional antique dealer and often puts higher end antiques I want to sell in locked cases at her antique mall. I finally sold some funky Art Deco pottery that was on display for over six months. I am sharing some of my good fortune with you on gofundme.
Happy New Year!! I’m going shopping tomorrow 🥰. Got my eye on some wireless headphones. Will be great to blast tunes while I vacuum and clean house 
