Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
Editorials & Other Articles
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
Borowitz - McConnell Bolts Upright in Terror as JD Vance Enters Hospital Room
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an incident that astonished his medical staff, on Wednesday Senator Mitch McConnell bolted upright in terror after JD Vance entered his hospital room.
McConnell, who had been motionless and unresponsive prior to the vice president’s arrival, suddenly sprang to attention, his eyes bulging with alarm.
“Get that bastard away from me!” the Kentucky lawmaker shrieked.
In Tehran, a government spokesman said that any attempt by Vance to pay a hospital visit to the Supreme Leader would be seen as an act of war.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/mcconnell-bolts-upright-in-terror