James Comer Gonna Delete All The Biden Judges (Including The Supreme Court One) Because F*ck It, No Reason
It has been a while since we checked in on the doings of one James Richardson Comer Jr., the pudding-faced chair of the House Oversight Committee who spent much of the last few years chasing Hunter Biden’s wangadoodle all over creation before the search sputtered to an end without reaching any firm conclusions, leaving Republicans feeling unsatisfied and sticky. Tarnation, shouted James Comer as Hunter’s hog slipped through his leathery fingers.
Dry those tears, Comer wasn’t down for long. Shamelessness is his superpower. His big cause now is uncovering the scandal of Joe Biden and his autopen, which he has described as bigger than Watergate. We thought that title was already claimed by another scandal the right has been screaming about, which is Barack Obama personally framing Donald Trump for treason. Though any scandal can be worse than Watergate if you wish strongly enough.
Y’all remember the autopen, right? That device every administration uses to sign the president’s John Hancock to some of the thousands and thousands of cards and letters and missives and pardons and screeds that go out with his name on them every year. This saves all presidents time and means the current one won’t get grease from a Big Mac on any important proclamations.
Just imagine you are one of the 1,500 January 6 criminals Trump pardoned, many if not all of whom we would bet cash money were pardoned via autopen. You have suffered. You have been persecuted by your government in your mind. You’ve bought into all the martyrdom thrust on you by the brain geniuses of MAGA. You have waited years for this. Here comes the signed presidential pardon that you are going to frame and hang in your man cave, right next to the picture of you at a Navy SEAL fantasy camp. (You washed out in seven minutes.) You open the envelope, and there is a greasy thumbprint right smack in the middle of the document. Though who knows, maybe you find that makes it more authentic. Maybe you love the Trumpian lack of pretension and dignity.
Use of an autopen is an uncontroversial practice, or was, until Republicans realized they could tie it to Joe Biden’s cognitive decline and claim his advisors had used it to sign his name to all sorts of bills and other paperwork without his knowledge. Voila! Le scandal!
https://www.wonkette.com/p/james-comer-gonna-delete-all-the