Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding "Song of the South" be Reinstated at Splash Mountain

[Zorro]

President Donald Trump signed an executive order that required Disneyland to reopen Splash Mountain and “Song of The South” be restored to what he called its “beautiful heritage,” sources confirmed.

“The way that all-time classic has been treated by Disney is a disgrace,” Trump said during the signing of the order. ”People come up to me at my rallies, tears streaming down their face, can you believe, and they say, ‘Well, sir, the Democrats decided honoring Southern heritage was offensive so they replaced our beloved ‘Song of The South’ with Tiana’s ‘Bayou Adventure,’ and it’s just shameful. And you’ll never guess what happened when they did that. It closed down! You had all these people showing up to Disney going, ‘Who the hell is Tiana?’ and they just leave. They leave the park. If Disney doesn’t do the right thing I hate to think of what might happen to them. Once Pete Hegseth finishes drinking his lunch we’re going to discuss our military options because this is a disgrace.”

Disney representative Dianna Brooke was surprisingly on board with the order.

“President Trump made some excellent points in between his rants about ‘the radical left’ and how McDonald’s french fries use to be saltier than they are today,” said Brooke. “We plan to comply with the order fully as soon as we figured out what we did with all the parts from the Splash Mountain ride. After all, Southern heritage is something all Americans should be proud of and celebrate. It’s not about race. It’s about an infinite supply of free labor, which is an initiative Disney can get behind.”

Chief Strategist and aspiring cuckold Stephen Miller applauded Disney’s complicity.

https://thehardtimes.net/culture/trump-signs-executive-order-demanding-song-of-the-south-be-reinstated-at-splash-mountain/

[spanone]

1. trmp is the poster boy for mental illness.

Sick Fuck.

[unblock]

3. It's satire, but who can tell with this clown ?

[Sanity Claws]

2. Doesn't he have anything better to do?

[Bayard]

4. This is satire, right?

Hard to tell anymore.

[odins folly]

5. While this doesn't sound ridiculous

Should probably check for satire first…:

About
The Hard Times is a very real punk news site that you should not question. Just absorb the information as truth and move on. The historic satire site was founded in December 1976. It’s made by a group of punk and hardcore kids from all the different sub-genres of the DIY hardcore scene. Any resemblance to actual persons or band names is coincidental.

[sakabatou]

6. Is there another source to corroborate this?

[stillcool]

7. I am very pleased with myself...thank you!!

doesn't happen often, but I knew!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

8. LOL

But I really like the replacement ride. I understand that Stephen Miller may be upset that the replacement ride has a non-white main character.

[jls4561]

9. And Rick Grenell will be hosting a screening of the movie at the Kennedy Center.

It will be a double bill with “Birth of a Nation”.

Attendees of the charity gala, a fundraiser to sponsor Steven Miller’s online dating profile on the Right Stuff
(A Peter Thiel company!) will be served mint juleps by liveried servants during intermission.

[B.See]

10. Helluva thing, isn't it, that it's become

hard to tell what's satire and what isn't, with this SF.

[J_William_Ryan]

11. '...restored to what he called its "beautiful heritage," sources confirmed.'

All good satire contains elements of the truth.

In this case the fact that Trump is a racist.

[erronis]

12. Excellent gotcha. People, be careful - if you lose your ability to detect satire,

you may be starting to lean republicon.